I have a bunch of junk comments.

• Channel of Charisma - 20/34 North Node - South Node

The Channel of Charisma, 34 - 20, links the Sacral Center through the 34 (where my North Node is), the Gate of Power, to the 20 (where my South Node is), the Gate of Now in the throat.  Here we have the "classic" Manifesting Generator.

We have to be clear in our understanding that a Manifesting Generator can manifest but only in response. Even in response they have to wait for the clarity that only comes after they start their response. They don’t really know if they have the uh-huh response until they begin to respond.

Since this is one of the Integration Channels people with  this channel defined are simply being busy for themselves and about themselves.  Without a sense of what it is doing, the channel often needs guidance  from others from time to time. Yet as part of the Individual Circuitry (it shares the 20), the 20-34 is attuned to an acoustic harmony, and tends to be deaf to input from outside sources.

People with this channel may think they have to stay busy and can appear to the outside observer as amazing in the scope of accomplishment.  But without a clear response mechanism, the 20 - 34 can easily wind up  frustrated in their personal sense of achievement and utterly exhausted.

Good advice to give people with this channel: Unless you want to end up trapped into being a work horse for somebody else's gain, don't do or say anything unless you are responding. The business has to happen out of response. Only then will you make sure you are busy for yourself, otherwise life will be depressing.

• Channel of the Archetype - 34/57 South Node - Subconscious Mars

The Channel of the Archetype - 34-57, links the Spleen Center through the 57 (where my Subconscious Mars), the Gate of Intuitive Clarity, to the 34 (where my South Node is), the Gate of Power in the Sacral Center.

Here we are seeing the actual empowerment of intuitive intelligence as the sacral is connected to the spleen. It is a direct link from the power of life to the awareness of health and well being.      

Keep in mind, however, that this is not a channel to empower  others and keep in mind, as well, that in the sense of the not-self it is the most arrogant of all channel configurations.In a pretty bold fashion this channel proclaims, 'I'm the one that has the power to survive'. And it couldn't care less if you can or not. You barely exist to them.

This is why they are Archetypes. These people are designed to be Archetypes. of being human. They are pure in their focus to be alive. Like an arrow in the sky their life force shoots by you. It is neither shared with you nor meant to empower you. It is simply alive.

How that life force moves through space will depend on their full chart. But overall they are an archetype of how all our charts are unique.

The 34th gate is the Power of the Great and when it feeds into the 57, we have this archetype from our ancient mammalian past that stands above the rest in terms of being able to kill the most animals for survival. The 57 operates on an acoustic level to screen all sounds for an ongoing sense of harmony.

The 34, as a Generator Gate, responds with great power to implement things according to acoustic changes that may affect one’s realm of harmonic well-being.

The 34 - 57 is the archetype of aliveness and anyone with this channel in their Design can be extremely fit and healthy, - provided they follow their Design strategy. Sharing the 57 with Individual channels, it is prone to melancholy and a tendency to attach reason to  being moody. Provided any person with this channel is clear about the  nature of their moods, and adjusts to them without trying to fix them,  they remain healthy.

Channel of Logic - 63/4  Subconscous Saturn - Subconscious Moon

The Channel of Logic – 63-4, links the Head Center through the 63 (where my Subconscious Saturn), the Gate of Doubt, to the 4 (Subconscious Moon), the Gate of Formulization in the Ajna. People with this channel tend to be pretty busy mentally.         “Is it going to rain next week? Well, based on typical patterns for this time of year, the current barometric pressure and cloud cover there is a strong possibility….”

You see, what the channel is doing is posing some question,  looking for recognizable patterns, factoring in current data, and making a prediction as to the future. And of course if anyone else happens to be around it can’t help but share the question and the answer – whether that other person cares if it’s going to rain. The thing about logic is that it can be perfectly impeccable and still be wrong!     

This is, by the way, a rather pleasant magnetic connection between people. Anyone with the Gate 63 wants to share their doubts and anyone with Gate 4 really enjoys sharing their solutions. It works best when they both understand that it is the sharing that provides the satisfaction. The 63 can’t expect the solutions from the 4 to necessarily be useful, nor can the 4 expect only ‘good’ questions from the 63.

Channel of Rhythm - 15/5 Jupiter – Moon, Mars and Subconscious South Node

The Channel of Rhythm – 15-5 links the Sacral Center through the 5 (where my Moon, Mars, and Subconscious South Node), the Gate of Waiting to the 15 (where my Jupiter is), the Gate Modesty in the G. This is the channel of being in the flow, and is the foundation of  all biological life. Gate 5 holds to fixed patterns and rituals, while the 15 is the Gate of Extremes. The purpose of extremes is always to level  the playing field, to act as a force that balances things out.

People with the 15-5 live in their own timing. You have an appointment to meet a 15-5 at 6 pm? They show up when their own internal sense of time tells them to show. That could be at 5pm, at 7pm or not all. Now they aren’t just showing up at an odd  time because they want to show up at an odd time.

The reason they do this because they have a sense of what the right time really is for them. And they share that sense of time with everybody else. People with the 5 -15 are very influential in bringing others into their own timing. This can often work to the benefit of others in subtle ways.

In the section on the Black and the Red of Personality and Design, the magnetic monopole was discussed in relation to holding together the illusion of separateness of the personality and the design and bringing them together. The 15th gate carries that heightened monopole function.       

A magnet has both a north and a south pole – there is a repulsive pole and an attractive pole. When you are dealing with the magnetic monopole you are dealing with one pole and the magnetic monopole only attracts.  Because it is connected to the vessel of love it is always pulling everything else towards it. So one of the things to understand about 15/5 people is that they are always sharing their magnetism.

Remember how the 18/58 shares their judgment; this is the same way that the 15/5 shares their flow. They are putting you or pulling you into the flow for your own good because 15th gates loves humanity and cares about you. But it is important to see that the sharing of the 15/5 is that they are literally magnetically yanking you into their flow sharing their magnetism.

My Channels:

• Channel of Charisma - 20/34 North Node - South Node
• Channel of the Archetype - 34/57 South Node - Subconscious Mars

• Channel of Logic - 63/4  Subconscous Saturn - Subconscious Moon
• Channel of Rhythm - 15/5 Jupiter – Moon, Mars and Subconscious South Node

One of the most special attributes of the knowing circuit is  integration. Integration is a very unusual configuration where the 20th gate,  the 10th gate, the 34th gate, and the 57th gate all  impact each other. Now, this is very unusual. If you look at the way in  which the mechanics of the body graph operate, and you look at  channels, what you're basically looking at is that there is always just a  simple polarity: there's a gate at one end and there's a gate at the  other end. But when you're looking at integration and you're looking at  these four gates, they can combine in any number of ways.

http://www.yourownauthority.com/free-resources/64gates

 1st line - introspection. 
2nd line - hermit.        
3rd line - trial and error.
        4th line - externalization.
        5th line - projection.
        6th line -  role model.

Gate 1 The Creative : 6 yang
lines, empowerment, knowing, G self creativity, potential for
self-expression, towards throat, yearning for a voice and
recognition, finding the words to express what we are uniquely, deep
melancholy, yearning to make a difference with our presence in life,
empowering uniqueness – subconscious Neptune 1.5 projection  Hanging: 15 

This to me relates to sometimes having difficulty findin the right words to express my deeper or transcendant thoughts to the world.  They often come out too abstract or nearly unintelligible to others.

Channel 4: Youthful Folly : in
Ajna, collective logic, can we share what we know, finding
commonalities in our difficulties, explanations, understanding, yet
it is an illusion, just a medium not an end – subconscious Moon 4.2 hermit just doing its thing 

Channel 63: After Completion :
head, pressure to find answers, head, all ends are a beginning, gate
of doubt and suspicion, mental pressure to focus on logic, –
Subconscious Saturn 63.6 role model

Channel 5: Waiting : sacral,
waiting for understanding, let life reveal to you the real answers
you need, fixed rhythms, not jumping ahead of life, waiting for life
to unfold – Moon 5.2 hermit, Mars 5.6 role model and Subconscious South Node 5.2 hermit just doing its thing

Channel 15: Modesty : G center,
love, balance between extremes, being human with a body and mind,
resenting all humans for the sins of one, beauty and beast, true and
not self, we all have a shadow, that you must express love “this
way” (form)  - Jupiter 15.4 externalization

Channel 20: Contemplation :
throat, transforming understanding into correct action, being able
to be present in the now, intuitive clarity, – North Node 20.6 role model

Gate 26 Taming the Power of the Great
: knowing how to handle life, Ego, seeking material stability,
health and success of the form, power of memory and recognition,
egoism, projector channel, looks for well being of others as well,
to serve and guide, territorial, control and  negotiation, surrender
to life – Venus 26.4 externalization  Hanging: 44

Channel 27: Nourishment :
Sacral pointing to Spleen, how the mother takes care of the child,
nourishment of the continuity of the species, enhancement of quality
of all activities through caring or altruism, not knowing when
enough is enough (food, worry, control) - Earth 27.3 trial and error

Gate 28 Preponderance of the Great
: what is life all about? potential awareness, risk taking,
projector gate in spleen, risk from not acting also,  and now what?,
deep fear of death, deepest thirst for knowing and truth - Sun 28.3 trial and error
  Hanging: 38

Gate 29 The Abysmal : deep within
the deep, persistence despite difficulties, sacral, depth of the
body,  collective, sharing the body by being together with another
in your aura space, commitment to life, what is right for me?   –
Subconscious Mercury 29.6 role model  Hanging: 46

Gate 31 Influence : the law of
friction, throat (which does not connect to a motor), not self tries
to have impact or fix others,  part of circuit of understanding,
live anchored in your form, meet in the aura – Subconscious Sun 31.5 projection, interpersonal
    Hanging: 7

Channel 34 The Power of the Great
: sacral, the power inside any seed, the power to be, power is
only great when it serves the common good which is life, using power
correctly empowering you without harming anyone, you serve the
common good when you go about your business with your own power,
power moves through us, in response  – South Node 34.6 role model

Gate 35 Progress : throat, “I
feel,” desiring change, manifesting gate of human experiential
way, exploring possibilities, going for it, maturing fully, then “I
stay, let me move deeper into this experience, no need to search
anymore,” finding the experiencer (you), anger outbursts when
chasing – Subconscious North Node 35.2 hermit just doing its thing    Hanging: 36

Gate 37 The Family : solar plexus
(to ego), no choice, dealing with things as they are, belonging, not
being alone, marriage, friendships, interdependence, can be blind,
control of sexuality – Saturn 37.6 role model  Hanging: 40

Gate 41 Decrease : limitation of
resources that maximizes the development of potential, spiritual,
root, the capacity to see more in less, magical, yin/yang fills and
empties, new cycles of experience,  desire for the
new/growth/maturation/attunement with what is your own nature,   –
Subconscious Earth 41.5 projection, interpersonal   Hanging: 30

Gate 43 Breakthrough : ajna gate of
genius, knowing is updated moment by moment, finding collective
formulas, inner breakthroughs, when you're ready  - Neptune 43.1 introspection
Introspection is to look inward, to study and to investigate         – in order to be prepared. When you think about those words you         can see that these are strategies that would be useful in overcoming insecurity.         The 1st line is basically insecure.

Hanging: this is where I need someone with 23
to connect to the throat!

Gate 45 Gathering Together :
throat, “I have” or “I don't have,” informing before taking
action, what is tangible in similarity with another in interests and
commitments, overlapping, the Queen, tribal dynasties –
Subconscious Jupiter 45.6 role model  Hanging: 21

Channel 47: Oppression :
ajna – Uranus & Pluto 47.2  hermit and 47.1 introspection

 just doing its thing

 Introspection is to look inward, to study and to investigate         – in order to be prepared. When you think about those words you         can see that these are strategies that would be useful in overcoming insecurity.         The 1st line is basically insecure.

Gate 57 The Gentle :
intuitive clarity in the now, spleen, integration gate, complex, to
penetrate the other through listening to them, relationship, fear of
tomorrow, what changes in relationships due to communication–
Subconscious Mars 57.2 hermit just doing its thing

Gate 59 Dispersion : reproduction,
sexual identity, the aura breaker, how gender differences fascinate
us, transcending sexual identity in ways it might block
communication – Subconscious Venus 59.5 projection, interpersonal   Hanging 6

Channel 64: Before Completion :
ability to review memory, the past, gate of duality, head, the
self-esteem of the not-self is  never very high when dependent on
the other, what do you do when relationships don't seem to work,
this is the gate of inspiration in what happens to you with others,
not based on codependence, not fearing your aloneness, not looking
for a way out, looking through your form – Subconscious Uranus
& Pluto 64.2 hermit just doing its thing and 64.4 externalization

 Channel 63: After Completion :
head, pressure to find answers, head, all ends are a beginning, gate
of doubt and suspicion, mental pressure to focus on logic, –
Subconscious Saturn 63.6 role model

This last weekend provided a much needed rest.  I was soooooo tired, mostly emotionally.  We got a lot of stuff done, but mostly we are home bodies and we just vedged a lot!

So one of the things I did not get to was figuring out my documentation for work.  I use excel and keep my progress notes and my billing all in one large book.  The problem is I like to work on it at home and at work, so I end up wondering which is the latest version... I think I might need to separate them out somehow.  I have had this silly problem in so many permutations for so long.

I'm really excited because I found a biography of my Swiss great-great grandfather, Willi Aeppli (Waldorf school author), and discovered that he was born in Ghana when his parents were missionaries.  His father died when he was a toddler of a tropical disease.  Then his mother adopted another child, who then died at age 5 of Scarlet Fever.  He was visited by this child's spirit which changed the direction of his spiritual life, later making him open to anthroposophy.  http://myjaneaology.blogspot.com/2010/06/ggp-aeppli.html

"Anthroposophy, a spiritual philosophy founded by Rudolf Steiner, postulates the existence of an objective, intellectually comprehensible spiritual world accessible to direct experience through inner development—more specifically through cultivating conscientiously a form of thinking independent of sensory experience. 

And by searching for more info. on the Basel Mission, I found pics of my great-great-great grandparents, Heinrich Aeppli and Jeanette Pluss-Aeppli.

from Lesson 3, A Course in Weight Loss, by Marianne Williamson

Legacy of the Divine Tarot  Deck

DAILY READING

Work, Home, Unexpected, Your Role, Outcome

WORK

Knight of Cups - Knight of Cups is someone whose current actions in this situation are motivated by emotion. His heart is focused on something, such as a vision, a quest, a creation, or on someone. In this case, he is absolutely compelled to follow his heart to the exclusion of all else, for good or ill. At this point, he considers nothing else; all that matters is his presumed love, reconciliation, poetry, art, or dream. It will be very difficult to turn this knight's attention from his current pursuit.  // Taking  a journey into the depths of his heart, he finds strength and direction after having been immersed in his dream.

~^^~

HOME

XIII Death - While this card rarely means actual physical death, I think under the present circumstances, it does. I think it means your brother's death and the awareness of the death of your relationship with your mother. From the ashes of death is reborn new hope for the future. There is always hope present. Though the bloom is hardly visible, focus on finding the hope amid the ashes.

~^^~

UNEXPECTED

7 Wands - I would apply this card directly to the situation with EYT. You feel on the defensive and I sense a feeling in this particular instance, of feeling pushed out from the inside rather than protecting and defending the inside from those without. Stand your ground. You may no longer belong on the inside of this particular place, but you still have strength and authenticity and have no reason or need to feel like less of a person. Let go. You are just about out the door. Just walk away. The attacker(s) will not follow you.

~^^~

YOUR ROLE

IX Hermit - Your role is to take some time out for introspection. You've been through hell. You're tired. Your soul is weary. Give yourself a reprieve. It's okay.

~^^~

OUTCOME

6 Coins - Although the pentacles (coins in this deck) are generally about finances and earth, this particular reading I get more of a sense of balance from this card. Things will come into balance if you just take the time. Wait. Be patient with yourself and others, watch carefully, but don't rush forward. The scales will balance out and you won't feel like you're on such unstable a foundation as you do now.

~^^~*~^^~

PERSONAL LAYOUT

Past, Present, Future
Spiritual, Physical, Emotional
Overall

PAST

2 Wands - Before, you were two against the world. Your brother and you ... but this is past.

~^^~

PRESENT

8 Cups - In the midst of a metamorphosis. Difficult. HUGE changes and challenges, but look at the way he's going for it! You can do this! Change is here and in the process in you. Leaving the past behind and moving ahead to the future, even as you cannot see it all in the mist.  The cups surrounding you, in this instance, I feel are friends who are full of love, support and joy, cheering you on your way.

~^^~

FUTURE

Page of Cups - Pages are inexperienced. They have a lot of knowledge, but not a lot of practice. The future is as yet unknown, and you're getting your feet wet as you move forward into it. Cautiously, because you want to get it right, slightly impatient because you have the head knowledge even if your emotions and your heart aren't quite aligned yet with what you know.

~^^~

SPIRITUAL

4 Wands - There is a stability in your spiritual life that can ground you here. When you're feeling overwhelmed by the heat of what is happening around you, there is a stream of cool water to quench that heat within the boundaries of your spiritual life. It is your haven right now.

~^^~

PHYSICAL

5 Wands - Physically, you may be a bit at war with yourself. Fighting off all the emotional trauma is messing with your body. You're out of sync and at odds with yourself.  This is just a wake-up call to pay attention to how your emotions affect you physically.

~^^~

EMOTIONAL

XVIII Moon - The moon is dreamy. A bit surreal. Expectations are high, but realistically... they may be too high. The moon is just a reflection of the light of the sun. It's not the real thing. Be careful not to get drawn in by unrealistic expectations.

~^^~

OVERALL

7 Swords - This is an interesting placement for the seven of swords. As I would interpret it in this situation... possibly you went out to battle without letting anyone know? You forgot a few swords and weren't prepared for what you went off to fight and you're sneaking back in the window so as not to wake anyone and pick up the two you forgot.   Maybe you don't need to be sneaky about it. It's evident you feel inadequate, and the five swords you carry are already heavy enough. Perhaps you could change your mind and put the swords back? 

Another possible interpretation is that someone else took your swords and left you with only two... and you feel bereft and inadequate, and downright betrayed by the loss of those five swords. The thief didn't feel they could do without them, however, and maybe they tried to leave you at least something?  Look at the guilt on his face. You caught him in the act. .. but he's already out the window and falling backwards ... there's no turning back now. Can you let him have the swords without holding blame over him?  Don't forget the 5 of Wands here, either, as the emotions created by this can war with your physical wellbeing.

~^^~**~^^~

 SITUATION LAYOUT

Current Situation, Your Expectations, Hidden Influence, Advice, Outcome

CURRENT SITUATION

3 Wands - You have worked hard on something (EYT?) and yet, it's time to let it go, and now you are watching the ship sail away. Will it be successful still? Did you do the right thing staying behind? You got off the ship and are watching its magnificence disappear in the sun. That was hard, but it was the only option you felt you had. Now it's time to find something new.

~^^~

YOUR EXPECTATIONS

XI Justice - Justice. You want justice. But you want to be fair, too. My gut feeling is to trust karma, in this case. Karma will mete out justice fairly and logically.

~^^~

HIDDEN INFLUENCE

4 Swords - Again we are here with exhaustion and tiredness. As with the Hermit earlier, there is a desperate need for rest and resolution. Time to restore your soul.  This card is also related to the Death card and could bring in the obvious influence your brother's death has had on your present circumstances, but I think that, although that has a large influence, there is an equal influence at present of your physical and emotional exhaustion. Stop. Breathe. Restore. Enough pain! You're so worn out right now that you don't even notice the bed is made up of the hilts of swords.

~^^~

ADVICE

8 Swords - A very interesting card for the ADVICE position!  I had to ponder it for only a moment however, to see that she feels, like you, attacked on all sides without any possibility of movement without harm. So therein is the advice. The more you struggle, the more risk you take of being skewered by one or more of those swords.  Honey, DON'T MOVE!  If you stay still, relax yourself, calm down, the threat of those swords will pull away on their own.

~^^~

OUTCOME

Ace of Cups - What a lovely outcome card!! -- Aces are all about beginnings and possibilities. Freshness. A Gift, or unexpected opportunity.  A moment of fortuitous possibility. The time is right to act! What you plant right now has the potential for success. You have been and are going through a battle, but the outcome is beautiful!  Drink Deeply and be fulfilled -- jump right in and be refreshed! (in my book - I love what it says about this card:  A fully submerged cup. It appears to be an organic part of this dark and mysterious world but clearly retains its individuality. This suggests diving into the ocean but not losing yourself completely. The illumination comes through the water itself, another reminder that emotions become filters and affect the way we see things -- not that an emotional view is bad or wrong; just be aware that it may be different.

Life is a series of dreams, escapes, and then returning to reality.  With my brother's recent death, there is another changing of chapters in the story with my mother.  Yes, EYT was a type of dream and it is ok that I walked away.  It is a time for me to retreat and seek balance.  My childhood with my brother is over, the triangle with him and my mother.  Now I can move forward with chosen family.  Focus on developing my spiritual relationships.  I have been stressed by my diet, pms, emotions, etc. and need to return to better self-care.  I love the image that the moon is just a reflection of the sun, not the real thing and to be aware of unrealistic expectations. The 7 Swords sneaky battle scene is interesting.  Yes, I created EYT and yes it was time to release it to others.  And trusting in karma, everyone's worst punishment and best reward is just being themselves.  Yes, enough exhaustion  Relax, be still and know that I am God, to be found in the watery depths.