October 16, 2012

  • Guess what? I have Asthma!

    So I went to the allergist today and was told I have Asthma.  I guess I always thought of it as a childhood problem.  It could be triggered by the mold in my office, the fires in my area, a second cat and menopause!

     

    "Among those who may be more likely to get adult-onset asthma are:

    • Women who are having hormonal changes, such as those who are pregnant or who are experiencing menopause
    • Women who take estrogen following menopause for 10 years or longer
    • People who have just had certain viruses or illnesses, such as a cold or flu
    • People with allergies, especially to cats
    • People who are exposed to environmental irritants, such as tobacco smoke, mold, dust, feather beds, or perfume. Irritants that bring on asthma symptoms are called "asthma triggers." Asthma brought on by workplace triggers is called "occupational asthma.""

    http://www.webmd.com/asthma/guide/adult-onset-asthma

  • Women's Mental Health

    Women's Mental Health needs feels like it should be a political issue to me.  I recently had this experience: when asking my very young, male psychiatrist about the impact of PMS and perimenopause on my depression, he turned to two rather large reference texts on his shelves.  In one of them, there was one sentence and another one paragraph, essentially saying that Menopause is a "difficult" time of life.  I respect this doctor for admitting where his knowledge ends, but it occurs to me, how do degrees get conferred without this knowledge?  I'm especially aghast when the majority of mental health clients are women.  But let's check that out:

    Women's mental health: The Facts

    • Depressive disorders account for close to 41.9% of the disability from neuropsychiatric disorders among women compared to 29.3% among men.
    • Leading mental health problems of the elderly are depression, organic brain syndromes and dementias. A majority are women.
    • An estimated 80% of 50 million people affected by violent conflicts, civil wars, disasters, and displacement are women and children.
    • Lifetime prevalence rate of violence against women ranges from 16% to 50%.
    • At least one in five women suffer rape or attempted rape in their lifetime.

    For a complete referenced discussion of these issue please see the following document:

  • my horoscope

     

    New insights - Uranus opposite MC ***

    Valid during many months: At this time there will be many changes within yourself, which will be reflected in your immediate personal environment - your home - and in your most intimate personal relationships within the home, as with parents or partner. This influence can signify disruptive events in this area of your life and energies that require you to drop everything else to deal with.


    On the most mundane level this influence can signify a sudden event in your home or real estate - damage to the buildings, a sudden need for repairs or the like. But this is only an outward sign of the need for change within. Something that has been hidden away for years and years struggles to break free. But if you suppress it, the energy transfers to your environment and causes disruptions. You may have to deal with aspects of yourself you never even knew existed in order to come to a new understanding of yourself. People may not be very aware of this happening, but you will be, and so will those closest to you. You may find it necessary to make tremendous changes in your home and in those relationships that most affect your home to reflect this new encounter with yourself.

    Since this influence is also associated with profession and social status, you may expect changes in these areas, too. You may encounter opposition from others in your profession, people who do not want you to get ahead or achieve your purposes. Try to find out what the problem is and come to terms with these people. If you ride roughshod over them, they will try to hurt you as much as possible. This is also true in any aspect of your social life, if your actions seem to threaten someone else. There is a danger of a sudden fall in social position with this influence, usually because you have acted without considering others. They then feel that there is no recourse but to bring you down.


    Take this time to discover new truths about yourself, deal with them as honestly as possible and make these insights part of a new way of being. Then you will not have to contend with the worst effects of this influence.

     

    The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
    Uranus opposition MC, 
    activity period end of March 2012 until end of February 2013

    Transit Uranus Opposition Midheaven

    Sudden changes and upsets are likely in your domestic life. If you are at all dissatisfied with your place of residence, it is likely that you will move at this time or make home improvements. If family members are not getting along well with each other, it is likely that this friction will erupt into a major explosion. Typically, someone decides to move out of the home. If the problem is with a child, then the child may "get into trouble" at school as a form of protest and expressing dissatisfaction. The changes that occur now in your domestic life are symptomatic of a reorientation in your deepest attitudes and feelings, perhaps mostly at an unconscious level. This is a time when you break free from deeply ingrained habits. You may also investigate alternative cultures, religions, and life styles as a way to break free from your customs, traditions, and habits, and integrate new qualities into your life. Note that the precise timing of this astrological influence is very dependent on the exact birth time, so the dates given are accurate only if your birth time is very accurate. 

  • Plant Allies and Crystal Healing

    Medicinal Plants and Edibles

    Plant Allies: did you know you can use plants in spiritual healing, such as Reiki?

    Herbs & their Magical Correspondences

    Plants and their Magical Uses

    I'm intrigued to learn more...

    Crystal Healing: An Overview

    More on Chakras and Crystals

    I'm planning on learning more about this too...

    Spiritual Dimensions of Healing Addictions

October 15, 2012

  • weekend

    Ix ChelI had an interesting weekend.  I went to a workshop by an aquaintance who is a massage therapist.  I was on abdominal massage for women.  It was really intense.  I really didn't want to go when I found out it was so specific, but I was glad I ended up going, because it is a treatment for PMS.  Also, it was like being at another time in my life when I was connected to women.  Katie's office is an entire house.  It was inspiring and I was also a little jealous.

    Then on Sunday we had the worst day.  I don't know what's going on exactly.  Greg has a lot of anxiety.  The thing I hate about anxiety is it seems to come from nowhere.  The other thing I don't like about it is that if anyone is feeling anxious, I also feel it.  And it is very uncomfortable.

    We did watch a show called Tattoo Rescue, which involves reworking a shop.  It made me inspired to have a space that is decorated to create a certain ambiance, almost like a spa.

October 10, 2012

  • Irritation

    work: So I've been in private practice a few years now, doing most everything myself.  My DH helps here and there.  But I'd hired a woman to do transcription for me and another to do billing, and they both were royal disappointments.  They both tried really hard, I suppose, but it's nearly impossible to get someone else to do a job for you (me?) - right.  

    kitten: Our second cat is stinky.  Having two cats makes the cat litter box exponentially stinky.  We also have been trying to get cat litter which I'm not allergic to.  Also, everything that says it masks cat odor is essentially toxic.

    pdoc: I see my pdoc today and all I feel is mad.  Ever since I went off Cymbalta, I feel that I've lost my mind.  It's also the allergies thing too.  And I'm certain it's perimenopausal depression.  I just feel that no one is going to do anything to make things better.

    anniversary: Josh killed himself last year 10/21.  I asked my mom to go visit where we mostly grew up: Corvallis.  But not on the actual anniversary.  But that's not going to happen.

     

October 8, 2012

  • my transits

    Uranus conjunction IC: New insights

     

    End of March 2012 until end of February 2013: At this time there will be many changes within yourself, which will be reflected in your immediate personal environment - your home - and in your most intimate personal relationships within the home, as with parents or partner.  This influence can signify disruptive events in this area of your life and energies that require you to drop everything else to deal with.

    On the most mundane level this influence can signify a sudden event in your home or real estate - damage to the buildings, a sudden need for repairs or the like.  But this is only an outward sign of the need for change within.  Something that has been hidden away for years and years struggles to break free.  But if you suppress it, the energy transfers to your environment and causes disruptions.  You may have to deal with aspects of yourself you never even knew existed in order to come to a new understanding of yourself.  People may not be very aware of this happening, but you will be, and so will those closest to you.  You may find it necessary to make tremendous changes in your home and in those relationships that most affect your home to reflect this new encounter with yourself.

    Since this influence is also associated with profession and social status, you may expect changes in these areas, too.  You may encounter opposition from others in your profession, people who do not want you to get ahead or achieve your purposes.  Try to find out what the problem is and come to terms with these people.  If you ride roughshod over them, they will try to hurt you as much as possible.  This is also true in any aspect of your social life, if your actions seem to threaten someone else.  There is a danger of a sudden fall in social position with this influence, usually because you have acted without considering others.  They then feel that there is no recourse but to bring you down.

    Take this time to discover new truths about yourself, deal with them as honestly as possible and make these insights part of a new way of being.  Then you will not have to contend with the worst effects of this influence.

     

    Neptune trine Sun: An idealistic time

    End of May 2012 until mid-December 2014: This influence will alter your attitude toward the world tremendously.  If you have always been a materialist, you will find that spiritual concerns, perhaps disguised in some way, will become important to you for the first time. This does not necessarily mean that you will be attracted to an organized religion, for your expression of spirituality is likely to be more unorthodox.  You will be concerned with a direct experience of the divine or nonmaterial aspects of being.  You will recognize that purely material considerations do not give ultimate meaning to your life.

    This influence stimulates your compassion for others.  You may express this by working for charities or in institutions for people who are physically, mentally or economically disadvantaged; or you may become more concerned with helping people in your immediate environment.  One peculiar characteristic of this influence is that you will not be terribly concerned about gratifying your own ego through such work; you only want to be of assistance to others.

    In general, this is a rather idealistic time in your life, and you will want very much to actualize your ideals.  But nothing will be handed to you now.  You will have to work to achieve what you want.

    Your creative imagination is also stimulated by this influence.  This is a good time for any kind of creative effort, particularly if it involves rather abstract notions.  This influence operates in a rather immaterial way and is at its best when dealing with the abstract. Artistic creativity, especially in music and poetry, is favored during this time.

    The most negative side of this influence is that you may be tempted to sit around and daydream.  Reality may not seem as interesting as your dreams, but this is a time when you can work successfully to realize your dreams, so it would be a tremendous waste of very creative energy to just sit!  Any course of action as described above would help you to become a more creative and happy individual.  There is much potential in this influence.

     

    Jupiter opposition Moon: The first move

    Mid-August 2012 until mid-April 2013: This is a time when feelings and emotions play an important part in your life, and relationships based on feelings and emotions become very important.  This influence is usually experienced positively as warm feelings within yourself and from others.  You feel emotionally very generous and giving.  Relationships are usually quite good and rewarding now, and those that you have been building up for years may begin to produce results.  You can now decide clearly which ones are worthwhile and which are not.

    But there is a negative side to this influence also.  It can make you feel very self-indulgent and undisciplined.  You may feel that the world "owes me a living," whether or not you really deserve it.  It may also make you feel that others ought to be breaking their back to help you.  In personal relationships, you may become very demanding without really offering anything to your partner in return.  Instead of reaching out to make things happen in your life, you wait for others to make the first move and become quite angry when people insist that you take some initiative.

    Your love relationships and relations with women can be either very good or very bad, probably not anywhere in the middle.  It all depends upon your general reaction to this influence.  If you are demanding in the manner described above, then your relationships will be bad.  But if this influence arouses your feelings of warmth and generosity, they will be quite good.  And this is a good way of gauging where you are with this influence, because encounters with others, especially women, will bring out its effects.

    Jupiter conjunction Descendant: Mutual growth

    End of September 2012 until beginning of May 2013: During this period you seek to grow in various ways through your closest contacts with other people.  You try to create relationships that will further your life, not in a spirit of selfishness, but in a desire for mutual growth.  Often at this time a person will come into your life who offers to help you out in some way, usually through a partnership.

    In business, for example, this is an extremely good time to enter into a partnership or a contract with someone.  In your personal life, you will work more closely than usual with someone, which will work out very well for you both.  If other indications are compatible, you may meet someone who will be important to you romantically, but that is not the usual result of this influence.

    This is also an excellent time to seek out someone for counseling, especially a lawyer, but also any other kind of counselor.  Related to this, incidentally, is that if you have a case in court at this time, it will work out as you want it to.

    A marriage or intimate relationship should work better than usual now.  You and your partner will be anxious to help each other grow and to further each other's interests in all possible ways.  You do not want to restrict your partner or be restricted by him in any possible way. Because you understand the need for freedom of individual self-expression within your relationship, you will try to find ways to bring that about.  If your relationship is not working out very well in general, this influence can have either of two effects.  It can either bring a time of healing in the relationship so that it ceases to be such a problem, or it can make your desire for freedom so strong that you break off the relationship altogether. At any rate, the problems themselves will cease.  And a relationship that does break up under this influence (this only applies to one that is on the rocks) will do so relatively amicably.

     

    Saturn conjunction Sun: Concentrating energy

    Beginning of November 2012 until end of July 2013: This influence can bring both fulfillment and difficulty.  Roughly fourteen years ago you went through a period of adversity and low vitality.  But at the same time you made new beginnings, which are having results now.  These efforts will either reach a climax and be successful, or you will realize that they have failed.  In any case this is a time of tremendous responsibility and hard work, either to guarantee the successful conclusion of your old projects and endeavors or to salvage the best from the failures.

    In those areas of your life that you have handled successfully - in your job, your domestic life, or whatever - the responsibility of bringing your activities to a successful climax will limit your freedom of movement.  Even if you know that events are turning out as you want, you may feel restless under the burdens.  Try to be patient and concentrate wholly upon the tasks at hand.

    Do not take on any new projects at this time that are not directly connected to what you are already doing.  The additional responsibility could be too much for you and could cause health problems, especially with your heart and circulatory system.  When you have successfully completed all your current projects, you may start new ones.  This is a time of perseverance, hard work and heavy responsibility.

    Those areas of your life that have not worked out as expected should not be regarded as complete failures.  Several years ago when you embarked on these projects, you may not have understood as much as you understand now.  This influence will make you aware of this fact. Don't start out on a new course until you have cleared up whatever has not worked out.

    During this time you may feel cut off from others and lonely, but do not be too concerned about this.  Even if this influence coincides with the breaking up of a relationship, which it may, it means that the relationship itself is distracting you from matters that you must attend to now.  This is a time for concentrating energy, not scattering it.

     

    Saturn trine Saturn: Inner stability

    Beginning of January 2013 until mid-October 2013: At this time you can incorporate into yourself the fruits of previous successes, look them over and appreciate them for what they were.  The key idea is that you are in a position to understand your life and therefore better able to be in conscious control of it.  This is not merely an intellectual understanding, it is born of experience.  You have lived through certain things, and now you can proceed on the basis of that understanding.

    Your business or professional life will run smoothly at this time.  Employers and superiors appreciate your calm, controlled way of handling your work, and they can see the results of your past experience.  Relationships, which reflect what you are, are also more stable at this time because of your own inner stability.

    Your outlook on life has also reached a point of equilibrium.  You have a good understanding of how you look at life, and it works well enough that you may not question it very much. The problem is that this is not a time of testing, so you don't know how well your ideas will stand up to future crisis.  You only know how well they withstood past tests.  But the future is always different, and what happens in the future depends upon what is true at that time. Therefore you must keep your mind open and flexible.  You only know what you know, and that is not everything.  Continue to examine yourself and see what could be improved.  Even if your life is satisfactory now, it may not always be.

October 7, 2012

  • The Meltdown Continues - just on Sunday pause

    Last night I fell apart on DH and at first we had our usual dysfunctional shut down, which involves the male response to female emotions.  But then somehow when I expressed my fear that the medical world will never meet my needs, DH said he could go with me to appts. to be my advocate/voice.  Now I am skeptical that this will accomplish much, but it seemed to be a compromise that allowed DH to offer a "fix" that I could interpret at sufficiently empathetic.

    This morning, we sat with laptops side by side, and renewed our budget spreadsheet.  It was tense, but we got through it with minimal freak out!  I'm thinking I'm going to spend most of this day in bed now.

    Strike that, we just went grocery shopping.  Ow, my aching back.

     

  • October   November   December
    1 Mo Child Health Day
    2 Tu  Jupiter conjunction Descendant
    3 We  
    4 Th  
    5 Fr  
    6 Sa  got period
    7 Su  
    8 Mo  3rd QuarterColumbus Day (Most regions)
    9 Tu  District
    10 We  
    11 Th  DBT DT 2
    12 Fr  Sup, Off
    13 Sa  The Dalles Speaker
    14 Su  
    15 Mo  New Moon Libra, my 10th house
    16 Tu  ENT
    17 We  
    18 Th  DBT DT 3
    19 Fr  Corvallis
    20 Sa  Film meet Doris
    21 Su  1st Quarter, RCA retreat
    22 Mo  Gratitude Mtg. Tickets
    23 Tu  
    24 We  
    25 Th  DBT DT 4, Therapist Community
    26 Fr  
    27 Sa  My 47th BD, Speaker
    28 Su  
    29 Mo  Full Moon in my 5th, pms
    30 Tu  
    31 We Halloween
     
    1 Th  DBT DT 5,  Saturn conjunction Sun
    2 Fr  
    3 Sa  Gratitude Banquet
    4 Su  
    5 Mo  period?
    6 Tu  3rd Quarter, Election Day, district
    7 We  
    8 Th  DBT DT Review
    9 Fr  Sup, Off
    10 Sa  
    11 Su Veterans Day 11:11
    12 Mo 'Veterans Day' observed
    13 Tu  New Moon, Solar Eclipse in Scorpio, in my 1th
    14 We  
    15 Th  no DBT
    16 Fr  
    17 Sa  
    18 Su  
    19 Mo  
    20 Tu  1st Quarter
    21 We  
    22 Th Thanksgiving Day, no DDA
    23 Fr  
    24 Sa  
    25 Su  
    26 Mo  
    27 Tu  
    28 We  Full Moon, Lunar Eclipse in Gemini, in my 6th, pms
    29 Th  Therapist Community
    30 Fr  
     
    1 Sa  
    2 Su  
    3 Mo  
    4 Tu  
    5 We  period?
    6 Th  3rd Quarter, DBT Mindfulness 1
    7 Fr Pearl Harbor, Sup, Off
    8 Sa  
    9 Su  
    10 Mo  
    11 Tu  
    12 We  
    13 Th  New Moon in my 1st, DBT Mindfulness 2
    14 Fr  
    15 Sa  
    16 Su  
    17 Mo Pan American Aviation Day, Wright Brothers Day
    18 Tu  
    19 We  
    20 Th  1st Quarter
    21 Fr December Solstice
    22 Sa  
    23 Su  
    24 Mo Christmas Eve, no Alanon
    25 Tu Christmas Day
    26 We  
    27 Th  
    28 Fr  Full Moon, pms
    29 Sa  
    30 Su  
    31 Mo New Year's Eve, Saturn trine Saturn
           
     

October 6, 2012

  • At the mtg.

    Eleven years sober is a precarious place because my reaction to most shares is to want to roll my eyes. I totally believe in all the 12 step programs, I just don't like people much right now. That is pretty sad to me.

    I felt on the verge of a panic attack for a few minutes. I forgot to take my a.m. Meds. I also feel that my allergies are causing mental problems.

    Oh snap! Just got my period. A lot of the problem was PMS!